The giving of Thanks

The Thanksgiving Holiday is among my favorite celebrations.

Not because of its conflicted and oft-embellished history. And not because of the series of gluttonous meals that pepper the holiday weekend.

I like Thanksgiving because it is, when all the marketing is peeled away, a chance to pause and reflect on those things in our lives that create the opportunity for us to feel gratitude and thankfulness.

And, I think, it’s also a chance to consider the ways in which people’s capacity for thankfulness might be robbed from them by our inequitable, corrupt, and often abusive systems.

Consider the wide differences in the way Thanksgiving will unfold for different people around the country.

In one scene, a family, with a home nestled neatly in the lush winter greenness of a well-watered golf course, has been busy preparing for the day. The housekeeper has been through the home an extra time this month, just to help prepare for the holiday guests. It’s likely decorated in some mix of autumnal themes and emergent Christmas. For the better part of the week, there has been a steady effort to prepare time-honored recipes - all of which will come together on the bountiful day. Their grown children and grandchildren might be flying in from their metropolitan homes. Or perhaps, they live in the same town and regularly get together and serve throughout the year as an effective support system for one another. Regardless, they’ll all gather together for a day of thanks. They’ll eat and drink and laugh, and take time to talk about the ways in which God has blessed and enriched their lives. It will be beautiful, and the very picture of an ideal American Thanksgiving.

In another scene, there’s a single mother who has probably spent the day hiding her tears from the world and from her children. There is no turkey here. Maybe there’s no working oven in which to cook a turkey. Maybe she is working today, helping some retail outlet prepare for that most American holiday, Black Friday. And maybe she’s had to leave her children alone because there’s no one to watch them. If she’s lucky, one of her kids is old enough to care for the younger children, but not so into his or her teenage years that they’re likely to run off and leave everyone alone. In this home, Thanksgiving isn’t the primary concern - it’s the long, looming dread of Christmas, the holiday that doubles up and puts all its weight behind the gut punches it throws at poor folks. The anxiety of Christmas begins well before Thanksgiving, with the realization that you will never be able to get your kids what they really want, or the most popular toys, and that they’ll again realize their poverty through comparison with their peers. If this family is to have a decent Christmas at all, it will be because local charities helped make it happen.

And in too many scenarios in this country, there are a number of people who will spend Thanksgiving and Christmas completely and utterly alone. In fact, loneliness has grown so bad in this country, the U.S. Surgeon General has declared it a public health crisis that is affecting the nation’s physical and mental health.

“The physical health consequences of poor or insufficient connection include a 29% increased risk of heart disease, a 32% increased risk of stroke, and a 50% increased risk of developing dementia for older adults. Additionally, lacking social connection increases risk of premature death by more than 60%.”

Thanks, Jason. Happy Thanksgiving to you, too.

I don’t write that to take away from the idea of Thanksgiving, or to foster some sense of guilt. I, too, am quite fortunate in that I will be with people for whom I care deeply, and I will have an abundance of food for all of us to enjoy.

I say it because I believe properly deployed awareness should increase the depth of our gratitude. And if that gratitude is likewise deployed properly, it should increase our capacity and desire to share with others in a way that increases their capacity to grow and develop additional gratitude that can then, likewise, be shared with others.

And that is really what the Thanksgiving holiday is about to me. It’s not pre-Christmas, and it’s not just a feast of abundance. It’s a celebration of our love, and our community - in whatever form that takes. And it’s a chance to remember those in our lives who have helped us reach a point where we’re lucky to have so many reasons to be thankful. And to ask what we might be able to do throughout the year to make that a reality for others, and what role we each play in systems that crush the capacity for gratitude in others.

I have many reasons to be thankful. But I remember when it didn’t really feel like it. And I remember the people who made a point to inject love and compassion into my life, and in the process, helped me find the path to gratitude.

Today, I will work to reflect on the reasons I have to be grateful, and all the people who have played a part in building up that gratitude. I’ll also think about those times when my gratitude was lacking - and remember that it was always love, acceptance, and community that helped me find that sense of thankfulness again. And I’ll try to consider how I can bring that to someone else’s life.

I am thankful for you, and I hope that you have the opportunity to surround yourself with gratitude and love today.