Merry Christmas To All

And a reminder that’s it’s not so joyous for everyone

When I was young, I’d sneak out of my bedroom in the middle of the night to sit in front of our Christmas tree and watch the twinkling lights move against the darkness.

I wanted to bask in the magical feeling I got every year watching the lights bounce against the walls and reflect from metallic tinsel. It felt like love, and it made me happy to think that everyone was just as happy as I was in that moment. (Just to be clear, I was a kid and pretty into getting presents, too)

As an adult, Christmas hasn’t always been a magical, wonderful time. There have been years of pain in struggling to give my kids a decent Christmas. There have been years of sadness and loneliness. Extreme worry and anxiety about money, time, or both. And there have been years I’ve watched others struggle with their own grief and loss.

I’m also reminded that for many Christmas isn’t a time of light, but a darkness that grows in the shadows of all this holiday cheer. That’s probably more true now than ever - since we live in a time where loneliness has been declared a public health threat in America and poverty is the 4th leading cause of death.

“The physical health consequences of poor or insufficient connection include a 29% increased risk of heart disease, a 32% increased risk of stroke, and a 50% increased risk of developing dementia for older adults. Additionally, lacking social connection increases risk of premature death by more than 60%.” - U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy

My Mom shared The Legend of The Candy Apple - my first Christmas gift - on an episode of my podcast. She holds this gift sacred - somewhat as a reminder of where our family began, but, more, I think, as a reminder of a time that was maybe the happiest in her life. We didn’t have money for gifts, but inside that Happy Apple lives the hope my mother had for her burgeoning family.

That’s really the point isn’t it? Love, and the hope it will thrive and grow and shine light on more people. In that is a recognition that it’s needed and lacking - and our duty to help make it happen.

I haven’t felt for some time that’s the overarching message I hear in the contemporary message of Christmas. Mostly, I’m overwhelmed by the crass commercialism that has co-opted what in my heart - and my youth - was a holiday rooted in love and caring.

Don’t misunderstand me - it’s not that I dislike Christmas. No, I like it so much, I long for it to be better. I want it to live up to the ideals I have. The ideas I was taught, all those years ago in Sunday School.

Because that message was there is something to be hopeful about in the world. Not just for the right people. Not just for the “good” people, or the people who had the right jobs, the right houses, the right stuff, and the right amount of money. In that version of Christmas there was “good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.”

The modern adaptation of Christmas leaves a lot of people out, and sometimes adds to the suffering of people who are already hurting (if you want to learn more, I suggest visiting the r/povertyfinance thread on Reddit).

I will be lucky again this year. I’ll have family and friends around me. I am lucky most years - and I am incredibly grateful for that. But I also want to consider people for whom this is a rough time of year, and ask what I can do to better live my own ideals of Christmas.

When we take Christmas down to its essence, to its origin, we all have gifts to give and receive. We can share the light of love, and we can accept the light of love from others. It’s what the world really needs right now; it’s really what it always needs.

However you spend Christmas, I hope you feel love, warmth, and acceptance in this not-very-easy-thing-called-life that connects us all.

Merry Christmas

To all of you.