Crossing Paths for the last time
This morning I went to a friend's funeral, and I keep thinking about some of the remarks his sons made.
Don Tolbert and I weren't close, but we had known each other for a long time. He used to drop into the Hutchinson News to visit with me throughout my career. We used to occasionally get together for lunch, but that fell away over time.
Yet when we ran into each other around town every now and then, we'd always spend too long catching each other up on our lives. I last ran into Don maybe a month ago, and it was no different then.
He loved his family and friends with incredible deepness.
His sons talked about how willing Don was to give someone his time. To visit, to help with a project, to offer insight, or to just visit and catch up.
During the service, I found myself remembering the conversations I had with Don, but more so I remembered the unhurried time he gave me. He never rushed a conversation, and he was always warm. For a few moments, the rest of the world took a step back, creating space for genuine connection.
His children also talked about how skilled Don was at making the most of tough times.
In some of our conversations, Don expressed to me frustration about a few things going on in his life. But he always smiled and laughed. He’d find a joke to make. He kept his outlook positive, even when the subject matter might have given him permission to feel otherwise.
There are people in our lives, in our communities, who are fixtures we sometimes take for granted. We just figure they’ll always be around. Don, for me, was one of those.
You never know when you are going to see someone for the last time. But there’s always going to be a last time.
I didn’t know that my last time with Don would be that brief encounter downtown.
I’m sad that won’t happen again.
And it makes me want to be better about sharing my time, be more intentional about showing people how much they mean to me, and find joy in even some of the hardest moments of life.
Take care, Don.
